HEALTH AND STIGMATIZATION

Being pretty, intelligent and confident are a few of my God given qualities. I'm a young lady of 24years, a chemical engineer by profession, a goal setter and getter hailing from the Niger Delta region of Nigeria. I'm the fifth child from six, the last girl and a younger brother.
When I was about 3years of age I was diagnosed with sickle cell anaemia, this was the case for me and my immediate elder sister. Sickle cell Anaemia accounts for a high rate of infant and youth mortality mostly in Africa due to our climate and its habitation of mosquitoes. So far, this illness doesn't have an out right cure but can be managed by the grace of God. Its crisis comes with an excruciating pain caused by the sickle shape of blood which gets stuck while trying to pass the blood vessels, hence causing pain in the bones and joints especially. The in take of fluids helps make the blood slightly lighter so it can move along the vessels. There is really no cure but strong pain killers are given and sometimes oxygen to help reduce the pain. It is usually triggered by the presence of malaria, typhoid or any infection in the human system.

Compared to my sister and other suffers, my case was a bed of roses, I rarely fell into severe crisis and the few occasions I did it was not what I'll wish even my enemy. Seeing a loved one in pain and crying out to you for help but there is nothing you can do to ease the pain can only make you feel worthless. Growing up was okay for me because luckily my parents could afford all the necessities of life and sometimes a bit of luxury. Attending the best schools and having the very best of health care systems, I was always being protected from malaria and other forms of avoidable illnesses that could trigger on a crisis. Taking drugs everyday of my life was fun while I was younger (so I was told) but right now I must say it's a burden, I hate taking drugs but if staying alive and in good health can be achieved that way, taking the drugs I must. But I am a HbSc Haemoglobin C causes red blood cells, called target cells, to develop. Having just some haemoglobin C and normal haemoglobin, a person will not have any symptoms of anaemia.

 However, if the sickle haemoglobin S is combined with the target cell, some mild to moderate anaemia may occur. These people often suffer some of the complications associated with HbSS, sickle cell disease, but to a milder degree. Vasoocclusive crises (the flow of blood is blocked because the sickled cells have become stuck in the blood vessels), organ damage from repeated sickling and anaemia, and high risk for infection are all similar traits for HbSS and HbSC.
Being little when this all began I don't remember most of the occasions I was ill but one in my memory was when my sister was in crisis and I had been taken to the clinic as well. Getting there, the doctor ordered for some tests to be carried out on me because my eyes were yellow and the next thing I knew, I was admitted with my sister. Since I wasn't so ill I was in the children's ward but my sister was kept in a private ward for intensive care.  This was a strict hospital which meant no visitors during none visiting hours. We were being fed whatever we wanted and taken care of by nurses round the clock, which means even our parents, could only visit at the appropriate time. During the day, I would go to my sisters' room to keep her company but watching her cry in pain I could do nothing but cry along with her. One day, waking up rather early at about 5:30 am, I saw my dad through the glass door of the children ward, standing there looking at me, this was no visiting time so he wasn't allowed in. He shuttled between my room door and my sisters' door for about an hour before he finally waved and left to work.  Later, I found out my mum didn't sleep and had been crying and praying the whole night and my dad came as early as he could to see how we were coping.

Though being ill has its challenges, it also comes with emotional challenges. Remembering my secondary school days, I had been asked if I was a sickler but I denied it more than once. Not because I was a bad child or a liar but because I feared to be treated differently like an outcast for no reason but ignorance on the path of my peers and some teachers alike. Though I didn't fall ill frequently there was a family friend of mine whose mum had informed her that I was a sickler and she did a good job spreading the news around. Luckily I was a day student so I went home at the end of the day and was re-assured that it wasn't anything to be worried about. My mum could have followed me to school to report to the principal but I was allowed to face it on my own as a form of confidence building. On getting to school, my friends who had parents that were medical practitioner had discussed this issue with them and had realised I wasn't less or more than them and couldn't infect them but were told to show care and support. So most times when other people tried to tease me, my friends always had my back.

Since handling it in secondary school was not so bad after all and we eventually learnt about genotype in biology I felt the university was going to be a lot easier with educated people who had at some point learnt about it. Unfortunately a close friend and room mate of mine, maybe not intentionally but always made me feel bad and less fortunate compared to everyone else. Since girls will always be girls, more often than not we had arguments and misunderstanding, and exchange of words which she always ended with “I know why I am leaving you else I will beat the living day light out of you” This statement always put me in a state of anger, hurt and a couple of times it sent tears down my cheeks. People rarely know how much words hurt; they just say them and walk away.  We always had quarrels and she ended them with her famous heart ripping words. One day after a heated argument which she ended as usual, I took a walk and met an older friend of mine who noticed I was down and almost out she learnt a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on after listening to my story she said the most comforting words.



She explained how sickle cell does not define who I am and can't determine my level of wealth, intelligence, beauty or anything else. Explaining how fortunate I was to have a caring and wonderful family and how God had kept me for a purpose and I should stand up to my friend not because she knew I had confidence and a good self esteem but because there are other sickle cell carriers that are not as fortunate and privileged as I am, that don't have the opportunity to stand up to the world, nor did they have the energy or good enough health to be in school to achieve their life long dreams. So confidently I walked up to my friend to tell her how much I hated the famous line but we got into another argument and oooooh how I gave her a piece of my mind explaining how much better than her I was so if she had pity on anyone, she should have it on herself. This quarrel went on for a while and as usual she said I know why I am leaving you. To her greatest surprise, instead of me walking away I asked her why she was leaving me. I don't want to go to jail for committing murder because if I touch you, you will die she replied. At this point I pushed her and beat the hell out of her. That was the last time I heard of her leaving me for reasons best known to her.


Now thinking of the whole incident and realizing I was upset because made me feel she had pity on me. Most people with health, financial, spiritual or any negative condition don't need pity from us but require love, care and support. Most importantly they need to know that there's light ahead of the tunnel not a bomb waiting to go off. They deserve to feel and be treated like everyone else. Being pampered and given special attention has its advantages and disadvantages alike. Everyone deserves a sense of normalcy at some point in time. Having a challenge doesn't mean you're down and out, it just make you stronger for a better tomorrow So if you have made a friend, colleague or relative feel unworthy, try putting your self in their shoes, I know it hurts so be sensitive to their plight.